Rudeness Isn’t Supposed to be Funny

Something that has always bothered me is when people find a total lack of courtesy to be funny.  The first instance that comes to mind is a number of years back when the family of a little brat won $10,000 on Funniest Home Videos because this little kid said to a Santa upon whose lap he was sitting, "You have bad breath!"  He was being a brat.  Instead of being mortified, the parents thought it was funny and sent the tape in.  Apparently enough other people thought it was funny to vote for them to win.  I personally think that self-centered and bratty kids grow up to be self-centered and rude adults.

It appears that I am right.  There is a site called Regiftable where people share funny stories of how they were rude to someone by giving as a present a gift that they didn't want.  This practice (popularized with the term "regifting" on Seinfeld) mocks the notion that "it's the thought that counts".  I find the practice to be sad, rude, and inconsiderate.  I don't know who is being insulted the most.  Is it the giver because he is having his gift rejected or the receiver because she obviously isn't even getting the courtesy of a well-thought out gift.

Quote of the Day - Mitch Hedburg

"I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something."

When did “visitation” become “parenting time”?

In dealing with an issue up north, I was reading something that kept referring to "parenting time".  My first thought was that this was just this website's way of being kind and patronizing to non-custodial fathers parents. Further research showed me that not only is this now an official term, but it is used by other states as well.

This is ridiculous to me.  As a non-custodial parent of nearly 20 years (and counting) I'm more than sensitive and empathetic to the plight and sensitivities of those to whom this is direct.  But this is beyond silly.  What is this politically correct notion that you have to attempt to change the meanings of words to make someone feel better?  Do they really think that by calling it something different that it's actually going to affect the practice itself?  Of course it won't!  You can change the name of something, but it doesn't change what it is.  It's still visitation!

A non-custodial father visits his kids.  There's no other way to put it.  She has custody.   It's not really "parenting time" because you simply can't "parent" every other weekend.  You can't parent if you add one night a week and half the summer.

The irony of this whole renaming scheme is that by calling it parenting time they devalue another term that the political correctness crowd holds dear: "single parent".  They don't look at the term to mean "a parent that is single" but rather "a single who parents alone".  If a noncustodial now has "parenting time" rather than visitation, they they too "parent".  If two people parent, they aren't parenting alone now are they?  And if she's not parenting alone, "single parent" has lost much of its value and power as part of our lexicon.

There's another way this dilutes the term "single parent".  If a non-custodial parent (who has no children at home and isn't married) now has "parenting time", he must be, by definition, a single parent.

The problem with political correctness is that they want to have it both ways and they can't.  I won't allow it.

The Video Game Accessory of the Future

[CE: The Oculus Rift and the Vive look just like this when you get them out of the box]

I just can't stop laughing at this.  Every time I look at it and think of something to say about it, I keep laughing.  I'm not even going to try to explain it except to say that it's real and it's current.  Click the pic to go see.

Funny Link of the Day

Shamelessly taken from Overheard in the Office:

Old man: Excuse me.
CD store employee: Yes.
Old man: Where do you keep your Negro music?
CD store employee: What?
Old man: Your Negro music!
Grandson: He means rap music.
CD store employee: Oh, over there.

Word of the Day–Craplet

[CE: Little did I know that as smartphones became popular, this word would describe most of what comes on it.]

A takeoff of the word Applet which is basically a small application or a piece of code that runs on a much larger framework but does a small task.

Craplet - A small program written to perform a specific task without regard to the quality of the code, specifically error trapping.

I’m a Bigot

It's a difficult thing to have to admit, but I'm afraid it's true. As I come clean and admit my horrible bias, let me give you a little backstory first.

In my career, I listen to a lot of podcasts. For the uninitiated, podcasts are just downloadable audio talk shows on whatever subject you may choose. Mine are obviously technical oriented. Some are good, some are awful, some purport to be related to one subject and then for some reason choose to focus on another (a rant that will come later today). But regardless, they are all technically related.

I tried listening to one called Plumbers @ Work. The content is actually pretty good but there's one huge problem.

They're Canadian.

Having grown up near Canada and having watched NHL hockey all my life, I'm very sensitive to Canadian accents. I hear them without even trying. The problem is that while it's amusing during a hockey game, it's very irritating while I'm trying to work. I'm trying to work and I keep hearing things like "I'm a-boot to do a conference that's a-boot .NET" "It's a-boot time Microsoft did something a-boot that problem. I get emails a-boot that all the time."

And another thing. You know the round pork-based meat that we put on Egg McMuffins? It's HAM! It's not bacon, it's HAM!! Putting the word "Canadian" in front of something won't change what is. Just because you don't have a cuisine of your own doesn't mean you should go trying to co-opt meats as something that's yours.

"Mmmm...this is good turkey!" "It's not turkey, it's Canadian chicken!"

And what's with your flag?

A big leaf? At least you have a good national anthem. I suppose that has to count for something.

Speaking of leaves. What's up with that? The plural of leaf is LEAVES. So why do you have the Toronto Maple Leafs? Shouldn't it be the Toronto Maple LEAVES?

See? This is what happens when I have to listen to Canadian accents. I need to get back to work.

Women & Shoes

I just don't get it.

I don't mean that I don't get why women feel they have to own thousands of pairs of shoes, but why so many have to have loud ones.

There's a woman in my office who has the loudest shoes without bells. CLOP CLOP CLOP CLOP she walks by my cubicle. CLOP CLOP CLOP CLOP she goes back. This goes on all day. I listen to other people and I can barely hear them walk. Yet, for some reason, Mister Ed's wife, Missus Ed gallops merrily along.

It's really annoying.

ADD Awareness

September 20, 2006 is ADHD Awareness Day.
Please honor those of us with ADD by participating in this day. Some things you can do to participate:

• Forget something important.
• Go off on 4 separate tangents in a single conversation.
• Do something impulsive that might get you hurt and/or arrested.
• Start 4 projects and don't finish any of them.
• Giggle uncontrollably during a serious situation.
• Tap a pencil or your foot rapidly and loudly until at least 3 people get annoyed with you.
• Start a conversation with someone but halfway through start watching TV but insist you were listening.

By doing these things, you will pay tribute to those of us with Attention Deficit Disorder.
Another way to honor this day is to forget to honor it which those of us with ADD will do anyway.

Behold! The Awesome Power of Poo

Microsoft has just announced it's iPod killer (*cough* yeah, right) called Zune. It looks like a fairly cool device, but I have to wonder...

Is anyone going to really want a poop-colored mp3 device???

[CE: Turns out that some did but most didn’t. I loved my Zune. Even though it was the color of poo]

Town Criers and Buffalo

Whoever came up with the idea of taking a cheap, tinny speakerphone and putting it on a regular desktop office phone deserves to be shot.  If you've ever worked in an office, you know what I mean.  I'm referring to the Town Crier who loudly announces to all within earshot (which he makes certain is pretty far) everything that's going on.

Here I am at my cubicle with my headphones on, minding my own business and programming.  Clear across the room, there is a guy practically yelling, followed by two different voices coming over the phone.  I go over to the break room where his desk is nearby and there he is.  That's right, he.  Not they, but he.  All by himself.  And he's sitting in his chair leaning forward and putting his face about 6 inches from his phone.  I pause and look around.  There's nobody else there.  At all.

Am I missing something here?  I half expected to hear from the speakerphone, "Watson!  Come here!  I need you!"

Speakerphones were made for a reason, or a couple actually.

1. If you have multiple people in the room that need to participate or hear what's being said.
2. If you need to have your hands free while you talk and don't have a headset.

You'll notice that conspicuously absent from that list is "want to feel important".

What goes through a person's head (besides the wind) that would make them think it's ok to interrupt the work of 11 other people when it's not necessary?

And then there are the Buffalo.  I call him/them that because they roam.  Apparently at some point in their lives they bought a cell phone and the salesman told him that it had free roaming so he assumed that this is what he should be doing.  Roaming.

Same cubicle, same desk, half hour after the Town Crier.  Again, minding my own business and programming.  This loud voice comes from way down the hall, but it's a lone voice. Clearly he wasn't talking WITH anyone he was talking AT someone.  On his phone.

So here is this highly paid manager who drives a very high end vehicle walking down here using one of these ancient earpieces. [CE: This is ancient for 2006 even]

Have you ever used one of these things?  you see that little bulge on the cord?  Basically, it's a microphone encased in its own cocoon of plastic with a tiny hole drilled in it.  If you're really, really lucky, the hole might actually be facing the front where sound could hopefully go in, but more than likely it'll just lay against your shirt. If you've never used one, the only thing you can do (aside from the tragically obvious solution of getting an earpiece that doesn't suck) is just talk louder.

So, Buffalo man goes wandering all over the building, letting everyone know how important he is, practically shouting into his 1996 earpiece.  Getting work done is a near impossibility.  And yet it's these same managers who can't understand why most programmers are more efficient at night.

Mini-Rant: British Terminology

I understand the whole difference in terms like "boot" for "trunk" and "flat" for "apartment" but what I can't stand is the term "row" for a fight.  What's up with that?  One of the news feeds I read is the BBC.  It seems like any dispute, fight, uproar, or brouhaha is referred to as a "row".  You would think that the English (you know, the ones who came up with the English language) could think of better ways to say it than "row".  Heck, I just came up with four right there.